Escorting Sakura Down the Aisle
by reader713
Summary: Chaos erupts in Konoha as the question is raised of who will escort the lovely ladies down the aisle on their wedding day. Luckily for Sakura, her quasi family is able to come to a decision about her distant future wedding to her nonexistant groom. Not that she knew. Now let's only hope that her new home will be able to survive the wrath. Sakura/male foreign nin. Complete! REVIEW!


DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

The question was raised when Ino announced that she and Shikamaru were getting married (he grunted in agreement and because they'd been dating for about three years it was taken as truth).

Naturally, Inoichi was against it, even went so far as to forbid the couple to get married at the top of his lungs. Shikamaru stated that he had no problem putting off the wedding until Inoichi gave his permission but Ino did and yelled at her father that she was a grown woman and didn't need his permission! What's more, she added, he could easily be replaced!

Inoichi had a quiet heart attack before he demanded to know who exactly she thought could replace the FATHER of the BRIDE!

She retorted that Uncle Shikaku and Uncle Chouza would probably agree to escort her down the aisle if they needed to.

This, unfortunately, led to the strange string of assassination attempts on Inoichi's two ex-teammates that continued until they were sent out of Konoha on missions.

Chouji (future best man) was nominated as their replacement (Shikamaru was actually quite enthusiastic about this fact, deciding that it would be far less troublesome for the two of them to elope and knowing that if Chouji was nominated to give away the bride that the three of them could do the deed without anyone else).

Inoichi was not pleased, but by that time his wife had caught on to his plan (of killing off the alternatives) and forced him to give his blessing to the marriage (especially since the other alternate was Asuma and she doubted that trying to kill a previous Hokage's son could be done without getting caught).

With the subject raised attention turned to the other kunoichi of the Konoha Eleven. Gai tearfully nominated himself to escort 'the youthful Tenten' down the aisle due to her status as an orphan. Tenten politely thanked her ex-sensei and then forced her boyfriend Neji Hyuuga to agree that an elopement and wedding involving just the two of them and a minister would be an excellent idea (if needed, Lee could serve as best man and 'giver away of the bride'). Hiashi Hyuga, meanwhile, delivered the evil eye to everyone when conversation turned to Hinata and Kurenai hastily offered to be matron of honor (which was deemed permissible since Hinata's mother had died when Hanabi was two).

Then there was Sakura, who had been recently orphaned. Kakashi, when asked, stated that he'd walk Sakura down the aisle since she was his old student. Tsunade then demanded to know why she wasn't an option and the two duked it out, destroying a training field in the process. They finally came to an agreement: Kakashi would give her away since Tsunade could officiate the wedding due to being the Hokage. Yamato experienced a few assassination attempts until he signed a contract stating that he would not be walking Sakura down the aisle unless Kakashi was dead (and he had seen his corpse and it was extensively proven to not be a fake).

Then Naruto announced that he would give 'Sakura-chan' away, it was his duty as her ex-teammate (unless she wanted him to be the groom, hint-hint?) and woke up a few days later feeling like he'd been hit with a Chidori and squashed a few times.

Sasuke wanted no part of it (Naruto taunting him from his hospital bed, saying that that was because Sasuke knew that there's no way he'd be the groom). Sai merely smiled and asked why anyone was discussing the impossible (as if anyone would want to marry the hag…) which resulted in him being sent to the hospital when Sakura overheard him).

When it was decided that Naruto would be best man, regardless of whether or not the future groom had a best friend, interest in Sakura immediately plummeted and Ino was unable to find Sakura any blind date prospects as more than one potential fled (sometimes screaming) when they learned exactly who she was setting them up with.

Tsunade decided that Sakura needed a break and sent her to Kumo, telling Sakura quite firmly (it would have been 'ordered' except Tsunade was drunk at the time and Sakura wasn't too sure if she was serious) to have fun and let loose.

Four months later Shizune was trying to restrain Tsunade, telling the Gondaime Hokage that she couldn't declare war on Kumo.

Sakura had married one of the Raikage's advisors almost four months into the 'vacation'. He had been assigned to serve as her guide since he was also a med-nin (according to Killer B's song of the 'romance' it was love at first sight). Tsunade would have approved except that the Raikage had officiated the marriage and she couldn't forgive him for that. Killer B had served as best man and given away the bride (representing his 'bro' Naruto, of course).

Neither Naruto nor Kakashi forgave Killer B for his trespass, but Killer B misunderstood and believed that when they attacked him the next time they met that they were just inviting him for a spar. And fortunately Shizune managed to somehow get Tsunade to behave when the Hokage and Raikage met to discuss how exactly the elopement would change the treaty between them (and managed to keep Tsunade from using the poisoned sake she'd selected for that meeting).

Sakura, meanwhile, accompanied by her new husband went to Ino and Shikamaru's house to ask them if they wanted to be the godparents.

Shikamaru, watching as Ino squealed happily and excitedly agreed muttered about how troublesome everything was. He should get on finishing up his will. He had a feeling it would be put to use sooner than expected.


End file.
